Navigating Expectations When Your Spouse Travels: A Mom's Guide 

Four ways I manage my expectations while my spouse is away. 

In a previous post, we chatted about managing our little one's expectations, but what about managing our own? It's a common scenario for many moms out there—your spouse is frequently away for work or other commitments, leaving you to hold down the fort with the kids. It can be challenging, and at times, it feels like all you want is a simple chat with your partner. However, time zone differences, long meetings, and business dinners can make that seemingly simple wish a real challenge. So, how do you navigate this situation while keeping your own expectations in check? Here are a few strategies that have helped me, and I hope they'll be valuable to you too.

Understanding Their Perspective

First and foremost, I have to continually acknowledge to myself that my husband isn't ignoring me because he wants to. They're packing their days with responsibilities, just like you are. Long work hours, demanding meetings, and the fatigue that comes with all of those things can leave them as drained as you may feel. Remember, they're doing their best to manage work commitments and family life from afar. They’re missing out on things at home and that can make them feel bad all on their own without the shame of thinking you're feeling ignored.

Keep Projects to a Minimum

When your partner is away, it's tempting to dive into big home improvement projects or major renovations. I've been there, thinking I could conquer a pantry overhaul while juggling everything else. I've found for my own sanity, it's essential to keep these projects to a minimum. Managing the house and taking care of the kids can already be a Herculean task, why do we try to add more?! Save those ambitious DIY plans for a time when you have more support or when your spouse is back home and can actively participate in the decision-making process. Texting to ask what color paint to use often doesn’t get the response you’re hoping for.

Avoid Scheduling Big Commitments Around Their Return

Another strategy that has helped me manage my own expectations is not scheduling anything that requires my spouse's full attention on the day or two after he returns. Avoid appointments, date nights, overnight guests, or significant decisions that he needs to weigh in on immediately. Give him time to decompress and transition back into family life at his own pace. It's a subtle way of showing understanding and support.

Remember They're Working, Not Vacationing
Lastly, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your spouse is away for work, not a vacation. It's easy to imagine them lounging poolside with a cocktail, believe me, I've pictured it a time or two but, the reality might be far from it. They might be working 12-hour days, managing time zone differences, and juggling their own set of challenges. And through all this, they love you and your little ones.

Navigating the expectations we have for ourselves and our traveling spouses is a delicate balancing act. By understanding their perspective, minimizing additional stress, and allowing for a smooth transition back home, you can make this challenging situation more manageable for both you and your family. Remember, you're a team, even when miles apart, and together, you can overcome these challenges and cherish the moments when you're reunited.